Furious God Slaughtering Nuns With “Accidents”

nuns-crash-2Apparently the Almighty has heard all the uppity feminazi belly-aching He can handle from modern nuns, and is now putting His divine hammer down. In recent days, a rash of “bizarre” and inexplicable traffic accidents around the world has sent nuns to meet their demonstrably pissed-off maker.

A note to nuns: you are married to Jesus — so stay away from cars and trains and keep your cobweb-covered hoo-ha inside His convent harem!

Nicaragua (10/12/14):

A Spanish Catholic nun died and four others were seriously injured in a traffic accident on a highway in the northwestern Nicaraguan province of Leon, the National Police said here Sunday. The accident occurred on Saturday night, killing Pilar Bielza, 78, who belonged to the Assumption of Maria congregation…

The four injured nuns were taken to the Oscar Danilo Rosales teaching hospital in Leon and are in serious condition with guarded prognoses, Barrantes said. [Fox News Latino]

Highwood, IL (10/7/14):

A 68-year-old nun was fatally struck by a train Tuesday morning in north suburban Highwood, authorities confirmed.

Reverend Sister Udochukwo Odoemena, a Catechism teacher at St. James School and a nun since 1975, was escorting another nun to the train station when the crash happened at about 8 a.m.  The other nun first crossed the tracks as an express train approached. Sister Odoemena then tried to cross the tracks and was struck. She was transported to a local hospital, where she was pronounced dead. [NBC Chicago]

Oak Lawn, IL (10/6/14):

Two nuns and an elderly man were killed Sunday, when the man ran a red light, and plowed into cars stopped in the oncoming lanes in Oak Lawn. Eleven other people were injured in the wreck, two of them critically…

Two nuns from Little Company of Mary Hospital were in the first car struck in the crash. Sister Jean Stickney, 86, and Sister Kab Kyoung Kim, 48, were killed on impact. Little Company confirms a third nun in the car was injured in the crash and is hospitalized in stable condition. [CBS Chicago]

Northern Ireland (9/30/14):

Two nuns have been killed in a collision with a Police Service of Northern Ireland (PSNI) vehicle. The Mercy Sisters nuns died in the crash on the Belfast Road near Newry in County Down just before 9.30am on Tuesday.

They were travelling to a religious conference at the Dromantine retreat centre just north of Newry when the accident happened.  [TheGuardian.com]

Categories: Christianity

Tagged as: , , ,

2 replies

  1. I’m not sure it’s exceptable to laugh at this. I mean people died and that’s terrible. Truly. But you made me chuckly nonetheless. Thanks.