Sexy Goth Fraud Hawks Bullshit “Secular Exorcist” Schtick

sexorcist

How do you make a Millennial Elvira? Easy — take out all the campy fun, and replace it with humorless self-mythologizing and naked famewhoredom. Rachel Stavis, a self-proclaimed “Modern Exorcist”, is a Los Angeles horror screenwriter looking for an angle, and her new “memoir” — “Sister of Darkness” — is so very obviously a novel in hot pursuit of a spooky M. Night Shyamalan adaptation.

Cringe in embarrassment as R.L. Stavis expounds on her corny homespun quasi-religious schtick for Twilight-starved subscribers of the esteemed theological journal Cosmo:

“Performing an exorcism is very exhausting — when it’s done I could eat a whole pizza, like I’ve run a marathon. I probably shouldn’t eat a whole pizza but I won’t say I’ve never eaten a whole pizza afterward.”

The lower your [energy] frequency, the more they [demons] see you, the more they’re looking, the more they attach. The higher your frequency, the more grateful you feel, the nicer you are to yourself and to others, the better you are on the planet, and the less likely you are going to have attachment, because there’s nothing negative to feed so essentially the entity starves.”

“I love flowers,” she says. “I love Hello Kitty. I have the most romantic bedroom…I’m very girly. Crystal chandeliers. I love The Mindy Project.” [more]

OMG U GUYS. Like, right???